all off me


all of me fits
in a nike box, dumped off
return to sender –
meanwhile my 20×12 room remains
a testament to you.
memento mori tears
the pit in my stomach builds
acid-refluxing towers, and i hope
that the New Me, the one
who you will love for all time
(in sickness and health, through
good times and bad, et cetera)
will love you back as much as i do
(in depression and serenity, through
bliss and fuckups, et cetera)
broken as i am.

73 pounds of failure
for sale at the butcher’s block
going for nothing
yet with no interested buyers.
i can see why you walked away.
i can see it all – ribcage like
jailor’s bars, shriveled breasts
and thigh-gap legs that won’t fill
clothes. palms forever open
in surrender, pleading for one…
one more talk, one more kiss, please
don’t say goodbye like this.

don’t let the end be a post-it
about four hundred bucks
and when you love her now, new fresh
sparkling relationship of promise
i hope that the stain
washes all off me.

2 Responses to “all off me”

  1. anonymous Says:

    “i can see why you walked away”
    That line prompted this comment. I don’t know you, but you are beautiful. Never blame or ridicule yourself over the obviously poor decision your ex made to leave you. Please look at this as an opening of a new book rather than another chapter of an old tired book that will never end.


  2. Edward Perdomo Says:

    Hey, it’s alright to vent. I can’t imagine the hardship of dealing with what you went through but I’m happy that you’re okay now. I want you to know you’re not worthless, I get up everyday as early as I can to see my favorite streamer.
    I’m happy when I make her laugh, happy when she smiles at a donation and happier when I can see her the whole stream ’till I have to go to work. And it’s truly his loss because I get to see you a whole lot more now <3


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